You’re bound to have a few clashes with your family and teachers, especially during your teenage years. With family, being so close and living under the same roof often means you’re likely to spend more of your time disagreeing than agreeing on things, so before you start panicking, accept that it is normal. You will be spending the larger part ofyour day at school, so it’s understandable that you may also have a few disagreements with your teachers. Everyone is different and you’re not going to get along with everyone you come across. Put these simple techniques to use and you’ll stop problems from escalating.
- Listen first: If an issue arises, try to listen to the other person’s opinion and point of view. This is the only way you will learn how they are feeling and what is bothering them. If they talk to you in about of anger, ask open questions like, “what is upsetting you about this situation?” and don’t interrupt them. Let them explain it out before providing your opinion or side of the story.
- Don’t accuse or judge: When explaining your point of view, avoid using accusatory terms like “you”. Instead, opt for reflections of your own feelings such as “I think” or “this makes me feel”. This will take the blame away from the person so their anger won’t escalate and at the same time, you’ll be able to get your point across.
- Wait it out: Take a deep breath and wait until you’ve cooled down because heated conversations can lead to saying things you might regret and in turn, making the situation worse than it actually is. Waiting half an hour to think about what you want to say can make an immense difference.
- Put yourself in their shoes: Think about why your Mum or teacher is upset. Have you not done your chores or homework? What if you were in their position? How would you react?
- Work it out: (excuse the pun!) Go for a jog, walk or swim to clear your head and unload the negative energy that comes with getting angry about a situation. You’ll soon be able to see things from a different perspective and even find a solution.
- Write it down: Take a piece of paper and write it all down without stopping until you have nothing else to say. Scrunch it upin a ball, imagining the entire problem is in your hands and throw it in the trash. The issue will seem much smaller then.
- Seek advice: If all else fails and things are really not progressing with either your parents or teachers, seek the opinion and help of a third party who is impartial.
For more, click here http://www.nrm.wa.gov.au/media/10640/11_tips_dealing-difficult-people.pdf